You know who’s long overdue for an appearance in this series? Terrence Deyalsingh. The man who managed to misread a WHO statement and declare an ongoing pandemic to be over, even as it continued to spread and mutate throughout the nation.

To be fair, the Minister of Health isn’t as prolific as his colleague over in the National Security Ministry, but his recent comments about breastfeeding suggest he might be planning to give the Piper Pontificator a run for his money. I don’t know why else a government minister would turn up to an unveiling ceremony at Point Fortin Hospital (PFH) seven days after World Breastfeeding Week and say this:

Whew.

That mess might not quite put him neck-and-neck with Hinds, but he’s definitely nipping at his heels.

Let’s take a closer look at the incredibly ignorant nonsense our Health Minister chose to spew on a national platform, shall we?

We don’t have to teach cows and dogs how to breastfeed, but we now have to teach humans, now, how to do that, and we call that development.

Terrence Deyalsingh, Minister of Health (somehow)

If you’re going to compare the mothers of your nation to domesticated farm animals and pets (and you shouldn’t. Ever.), it should at least be a favourable comparison, no? Otherwise, your constituents—AKA your voters—might get the impression that you don’t respect them or their life experience. Because what would you, a man with zero obstetric experience, know about the experience of breastfeeding a child? On what grounds would you compare the experience of breastfeeding a human child to that of a cow feeding a calf or a dog feeding a puppy? What exactly are the similarities there that you’re trying to leverage?

You see how that could be a problem?

Right. Next up:

We have now progressed to the point where we have to teach mothers the three ‘P’s’ of breast feeding: practice, persistence, and patience. We didn’t have to teach our grandmothers that. It came naturally to them.

Terrence Deyalsingh, Minister of Health (still)

I would love to know what Minister Deyalsingh—who, again, is not an OB-GYN (or a doctor of any kind)—knows about our grandmothers’ breastfeeding experiences. Given his earlier analogy, I wonder if he thinks they were all out labouring and breastfeeding alone in barns. Is he honestly unaware of the fact that women have always struggled with breastfeeding? And that, before formula was an option, they had to employ other measures to prevent their babies from starving?

I also genuinely wonder how the Minister of Health managed to prepare and deliver this speech without once googling terms like “midwifery” and discovering how exactly women have been coming by their knowledge of childbirth and breastfeeding since the palaeolithic era. Does he actually think that the idea of coaching new mothers with terms like “practice, persistence, and patience” is a new one?

Does he know nothing about the things many women put themselves through in an attempt to feed their children “the natural way” when it (for a multitude of reasons) doesn’t come naturally to them?

You realise that any answer would call his fitness for the role he holds into question?

Right.

Moving on.

I don’t see cows asking for human milk. Have you ever seen that? But we, as human beings, deliberately market another species to humans.

Terrence Deyalsingh, Minister of Health (for how much longer, Lord?)

Once again, a simple Google search would have revealed to the Minister of Health that humans have relied on animal milk to feed infants since 2000 BC.

But here’s how you know he’s either incredibly uninformed or painfully unserious:

There are indeed huge problems with the way formula has been marketed to mothers, particularly in the so-called “developing world.” He briefly touches on it when he references the ridiculous claims one (unnamed) brand is making. But you’d think—if his concern is actually encouraging mothers who are able to breastfeed to do so—he might mention the shenanigans Nestlé’s been up to since at least the 1960’s.

And he might have something to say about why his government allows a company with a track record like Nestlé’s to operate within our borders.

But instead, he’s comparing human mothers to cows. And he didn’t stop there.

He described breast milk as the perfect food for babies, underscoring that it had no expiry date, it was free and the benefits were innumerable.

…

Understanding that in the changing world women had to go back to work after three months, Deyalsingh encouraged them to express and freeze their milk.

Webb, Y. Point Fortin Hospital deemed baby-friendly by PAHO/WHO. 15th August, 2024. Newsday.

Somehow, I found this part of his speech more insulting and oblivious than the comparison to farm animals.

First of all, let’s stop referring to breastmilk as free. Is it priceless? Absolutely. Is it free? Not by a long shot. And we know the costs. We’re just happy for women to pay them silently.

(It also does expire, so I don’t know where he pulled that weird little tidbit from.)

Second of all—and here’s the part that’s really insulting—spending all that time lamenting “development” before turning around and telling mothers to express and freeze milk when they head back out to work is wild.

If progress is the problem and breastfeeding is the solution, why are women not being paid to stay home and feed their babies that liquid gold for as long as they need it?

If the government is asking women to find time in the workday to pump and store milk to feed their babies, why aren’t they busy working on laws requiring employers to provide the facilities to do so? To see a Minister of Health say something like that, knowing that what he’s saying is that women should spend their lunch breaks sitting on a toilet in their office (or, in my case, in a car parked outside) to pump enough milk to keep their supply flowing and their kids fed, is incredibly infuriating.

More than that, it’s illuminating. As in the case of the rest of poorly researched and condescendingly delivered speech, it reveals how his government views the mothers of this nation. Which is in direct contradiction to the underlying message of his speech: that the care provided by mothers is critical to the development of our nation’s children.

I don’t know if Deyalsingh will apologise for the stunning lack of sense he displayed in this address. Given how many ministers usually have to insert their feet into their mouths consecutively before the backtracking begins, I won’t hold my breath. But I’d love it if the administration he represents used this grave misstep as a means of debuting a new and improved platform outlining how they plan to support mothers in all of the critical endeavours they’d like us to undertake.

Otherwise, perhaps the Minister of Health could spend a little more time connecting the dots between the non-communicable diseases (NCDs) he’s always going on about and the virus of which he dares not speak, and less time rambling about topics well outside his wheelhouse.

Please and thanks.